Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Werewolves on Wheels (1971)

I'd think that by now I should expect more. What I mean is this: I've been watching horror and exploitation for God knows how long. I should know that a great title can lure you in, but it won't make for a fun movie. Sure, there's exceptions to the rule, but there are also so many other titles that offer fun titles, which promise all kinds of fun, but in the end just don't deliver. Case in point: Michel Levesque's 1971 Horror/Biker flick hybrid "Werewolves on Wheels"

The plot goes a little something like this: a biker gang runs into a monastery, and run into a group of black robed Satan worshipers. The monks try to persuade one of the females in the gang to be a sacrifice, but the gang will have none of that. The jokes on them though, as the ritual has possessed the girl, causing her to become a werewolf.

On paper, "Werewolves on Wheels" sounds like a blast. It's got a fun soundtrack, a little gore, goofy werewolf make-up, Satanic rituals that are more funny than scary, and some unapologetic female nudity. That out of the way, there are some serious padding issues. It feels like it takes forever for things to happen, and whenever something does happen, the viewer is then subjected to constant conversations about nothing, painful attempts at acting, poorly choreographed fight scenes. It also feels like the whole werewolf sub-plot isn't exploited enough. We don't get much werewolf action until nearing the end, and the majority of it just feels like a dull biker movie.

And speaking of dull, the biker gang themselves may be the most dull one in movie history. They constantly biker and talk about things nobody cares about, and the viewer just sits there, waiting for there to be some more werewolf action. Yet there isn't much. It's a movie that promises the viewer "Werewolves on Wheels", but you wish there was more of the former than the latter. Or at least an equal time devoted to both.

I wish I could like "Werewolves on Wheels" more, as it has various elements that should make it fun. Sadly, it doesn't do a lot with what it has, instead making the viewer more impatient than excited.

Rating: 2/10

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