Sunday, July 4, 2010

Motor Home Massacre (2005)

I can't really understand how someone could be angry at Lionsgate. Sure, they aren't the haven for awesome horror movies that they once were, and that is disappointing. To complain about them releasing forgettable to awful horror movies in a constant barrage is dumb though, considering hat 95% of those are direct to DVD anyways. Plus, they've been releasing direct to DVD crap for a while now. Anyone remember "Ripper: Letter From Hell" and "Attack of the Sabertooth" for example? Things haven't changed much, and continue to stay the same. One of the movies released straight to DVD during the "golden days" is the terrible slasher movie "Motor Home Massacre."

Claiming to be based on true events, "Motor Home Massacre" tells the heartwarming story of seven really obnoxious friends who find themselves an abandoned RV. This seems like a good idea to them because they are idiots in a slasher movie, and lo and behold, they run into a psychopath wearing night vision goggles with death on the mind.

Bearing a title reminiscent of all of those other post "Texas Chainsaw" movies that added the "Massacre" to their title ("Mountain Top Massacre" for example), "Motor Home Massacre" clearly wants to be a slasher movie in the vain of the 80's ones. That's all fine and dandy, but the movie in itself is godawful. The gore effects are incredibly poor, and the kills accompanying them are the standard "He's got a machete!" variety-a bit of a ripoff considering the chainsaw on the DVD box. While all the girls are as they say "stacked", there is no nudity or sex on display, which would have helped the movie a little. It also doesn't help that the sole black girl in the film is so poorly treated, and even called "tar baby." And let's not forget the reveal of the killer at the end, which is a real head smacker. I could go on and on, but this is awful.

That out of the way, the final 20 or so minutes of the movie are so inept, they somehow bring the movie to levels of laughably bad instead of the painfully bad bullshit we had to put up with before. The viewer is bombarded with a barrage of terrible plot twists, even more laughable dialogue and acting, erratic direction and more. In fact, all of insanity on display almost makes it feel like a slasher movie version of something like "The Steve Wilkos Show" in that you can't believe you are watching it. Hell, while the reveal is as I said a head smacker, at least it's gutsy in it's outright stupidity.

In the end, while it's final 20 something minutes are amusing in how bad they are, they can't make up for just plain bad events prior to it. It's like going through a tooth extraction, then getting the laughing gas nearing it's completion.

Rating: 1/10

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