Saturday, September 11, 2010

Four Dragons (2008)

Another day, another bad action movie released by Lionsgate. Instead of going on and on, I'll just get on with the premise.

Four guys-Tiger (Michael Chin), Blaze (David Bao), Dragon (Robin Ho) and Ace (Jun-Fei Kuan) are working in a mining operation. When they decide to go to their boss to talk about the shitty working conditions, the boss decides it would be better to off them because aparently paying slave wages isn't as bad as minor criticisms or whatever. Of course, our heroes survive and plan revenge, and some other stuff happens that I didn't really care about.

Touted as Malaysia's first Martial Arts flick, "Four Dragons" is essentially the bottom wrung of the ladder. While I know logic and plot are secondary in the world of Martial Arts movies, the plot and characterization is atrocious. The story is nothing more than a really bad patchwork of half formed ideas, and the characterization as mentioned, is nil. We're introduced to these guys in an opening narration, but they have no personality whatsoever. At least the dialogue is so bad ("Tin Sok? Tin Sok! You mean my friend Tin Sok?") that it inspires fits of laughter. Also, the soundtrack is worth mentioning because of the terrible Rap-Metal song called "You Gotta Fight" and a moment in the score that I swear to God sounds like an instrumental cover of "More Than Words."

The worst aspect of the movie however, is the editing and action scenes. The four leads are actually multiple championship winning fighters, yet you wouldn't know that from how poorly edited the action scenes are. Director C.L. Hor also decides to use really fake looking CGI blood-and I mean it looks like a cartoon bad-whenever someone it hit in the face, making it resemble a martial arts movie directed by "House of the Dead" era Uwe Boll. The movie even uses a flashback scene which is just a scene we saw earlier in the movie, and it's used image for image. Why would anyone in the right mind do this?

There's no reason to watch this, unless you want 91 minutes to feel like five hours. Seriously, avoid this one. Also, "YOU GOTTA FIGHT!"

Oh, and finally, I am taking a hiatus from reviewing bad direct to DVD movies from Lionsgate. If I keep doing this on a regular basis, I will become a very bitter and unhappy man.

Rating: 0.5/10

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