Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Butcher (2006)

I think I've finally figured out Lionsgate's formula for releasing terrible Direct to DVD movies:
  1. Find an independently produced horror or action flick that's either a.) Been floundering around in the festival circuit without a whole lot of buzz, b.) Is from a production company that really needs a distributor, or c.) Already has a distribution history with Lionsgate.
  2. Pick up movie nobody cares about for the DVD market
  3. ?
  4. Profit! Notice that I said "profit" and not "success."
Now, onto today's movie, "The Butcher."

A bunch of dumb college kids on their way to Las Vegas, and Mark (Alan Ritchson) decides to take a shortcut. Well, a series of bad events occur, including a run in with a deformed killer (who has an atrocious make-up job) in truck, a a terrified woman in the middle of the road, and more. Long story short, said deformed starts knocking people off, and after going into a seemingly abandoned house, it turns out he belongs to a psychopathic family.

Seen "Wrong Turn"? The remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"? "2001 Maniacs"? The mediocre "Monster Man"? "House of 1,000 Corpses"? Or how about the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes"? Then congratulations, you've seen this movie! Sure, the gore effects are decent, a few kills were kinda neat (hanging via barbed wire) and the score by Dennis Smith is actually miles ahead of what you usually get with this kind of fare, but the movie is nothing you haven't seen already. It even goes far enough to blatantly lifted from said movies, particularly "Wrong Turn." That's because we get two things in this movie - a body being carved up on a table and stupid kids going into a house they shouldn't be going into - are used in this movie. Seriously, I dig "Wrong Turn", but that movie, the "Texas Chainsaw" remake and a few others opened a can of worms. After those movies came out, we had to get terrible rip offs for the rest of the last decade.

Everything else about the movie is really bad too. The direction from Edward Gorsuch (whose a veteran of soft core porn) is as pedestrian as it gets, the screenplay by Michael Hurst* is pretty much everywhere, and the acting - well, I had a feeling it was going to be bad, but special mention goes to Alan Ritchson. The actor plays Mark, whose supposed to be a rich asshole anyways, to the hilt, and not in a fun way either. Every time he opens his mouth, he unconvincingly yells or speaks dialogue so bad, I started to check my clock.

You've seen this before, only done much better. And you've probably seen this kind of crap released by Lionsgate already. So yeah, avoid this sucker.

Rating: 1.5/10

*Hurst is a veteran of Direct to DVD and Television horror - he wrote the Scy Fy channel schlockfest "Mansquito", wrote and directed "Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud" and directed "House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim."

No comments:

Post a Comment