Sunday, December 12, 2010

For Your Height Only (1981)

It's about a 3 ft man whose a "James Bond" style secret agent.

Really, that's what "For Your Height Only" is about. It's a movie in the type of cult movies that aren't really all that offensive when you get down to it, but they have a premise that defies any serious explanation, and must be seen to be truly appreciated or loved. You know, films like "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats", "Godmonster of Indian Flats" and whatever the hell "Boardinghouse" was. Fortunately, it's a better directed and more fun than those movies, but still beggars any sort of logic, even whilst watching it.

When Dr. Van Kohler is kidnapped by the nefarious Mr. Giant so said villain can use the good doctor's invention, "The N-Bomb" (no, not the "N-Bomb" you aren't allowed to say, that internet tools like to use as an atrocious attempt to be funny.) So, who must save the day? Why, it's Agent 00 (Weng Weng), a 3 foot tall secret agent, ladies man, master of the martial arts, expert marksman, and all around bad ass!

That's all just the tip of the iceberg. This movie has so many things that must be seen and heard to be believed. With Agent 00 defeating men in ridiculous ways (kicks to the crotch, shooting men who just point their guns and take forever to fight back), a score that blatantly lifts from the theme from "James Bond", and hilariously awkward editing, acting, and drama. In the world of exploitation films from the Philippines (though it's a bit tame really), this may be the most insane.

It's also one of the most beloved, and for so many good reasons. Who cares if the acting is at question and the direction from Eddie Nicart is at times nonexistent. But who cares? This is a hilarious, insane, and all around really fun film that rarely if ever lets up. This is a movie that also never takes itself seriously, but thankfully doesn't wink at it's audience. If something like this was made today, it would all be treated as one big joke, but everyone involved plays it straight, and that's for the best. In a movie like this, playing it straight is for the best. Also, bad editing and poor choreography aside, the character is Agent 00 actually does come off as a bad ass. I'm sorry, but any man that can get any woman he wants, can defeat villains with ease, and do it all without breaking a sweat is awesome, no matter how big or small he is.

"For Your Height Only" taught me to love and be a better man. Okay, it really didn't. It did however, entertain me throughout it's duration, and must be seen by people who think they've seen it all. Totally watch it.

Rating: 8.5/10

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