Friday, March 18, 2011

Hanger (2009)

In today's realm of horror films, one director who I'm not a particularly big fan of is Ryan Nicholson. A part of the newer generation so to speak, he's an effects man (whose worked on the infamous "August Underground" series) turned director whose movies seem to take a juvenile approach to shocking and offending people with nasty gore and all kinds of depraved behavior. In all honesty, I'm making his efforts sound much better than they actually are, when in reality, they are very difficult to watch, and not in the "this is disturbing" way. I mean in the "why the hell am I wasting my time on this bullshit?" way. Case in point: "Hanger", which may be his worst effort at trying to offend viewers yet.

The film starts with a pregnant prostitute named Rose (Debbie Rochon), who becomes a hooker (remember, that's what they become when they are dead-or at least the show "Archer" says so) and has said fetus aborted via wire hanger. Well, said fetus actually survived, and years later, is a has grown up as "Hanger" (Nathan Dashwood.) He's also a bloodthirsty maniac out for revenge, and a man named "The John" (Dan Ellis) believes he's the killer mutant's dad.

That's the plot to "Hanger" in a nutshell. In case you're thinking "that's it?", then you are not alone. In actuality, the movie is essentially an excuse for Nicholson and his cast to get away with all kinds of gross and all around perverse behavior, which would be fine if it weren't akin to a kid putting on a geek show to shock and offend us. Look, I'm all for shocking movies, but this tries way too hard to be shocking and all around disgusting, and it's clear that's all it has going for it. I know Nicholson is making something for a niche audience, but me? I don't have time for a movie that has things like an grotesque, racist Asian stereotype, tampon fetishes, graphic masturbation, and plenty of rape, mud and nastiness and nothing else. If trying to gross out and offend audiences in an attempt to be subversive is all you have, then get out of here, because I want nothing to do with you.

It also doesn't help that nobody here-not even genre vet Debbie Rochon-does a good job here. The whole cast basically either mails in their performance, or goes over the top to the point of sheer banality. I know, these are all supposed to be unlikable characters, but come on, at least give us some decent performance amidst all the filth. Also, there's a Lloyd Kaufman cameo. Look Lloyd: I love ya man. I love what you've done for independent cinema, and I know that you are always willing to appear in someone's movie. That out of the way, come on man, can't you at least say "no" to appearing in a movie once in your life?

Speaking of which, "no" is what this movie gets. There is no reason to see this piece of shit. I'm sorry, but all the filth and ugly behavior in the world does not make for an entertaining movie. In fact, it makes for a tedious and godawful one. Seriously, this movie can go to hell.

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