Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Not on DVD Week: Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)

The dramatic pause. It's something we all know of, mostly due to William Shatner. Who in their lives hasn't tried to talk like the man, saying things like "Tonight, on...Rescue...911!" to themselves or friends? Well, another performance that could be said to be a master work of dramatic pausing and over-acting is Bill Mezto's performance in the 1978 Video Nasty "Mardi Gras Massacre."

Mezto plays a creepy man who likes to pick up loose women. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Oh, and he also likes to sacrifice said women to the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl. Now that's going a bit far if you ask me. So, can anybody stop him? Why are we supposed to care about Sgt Mike Abraham (Curt Dawson) and his relationship with Sherry (Gwen Arment) the prostitute (I'd say hooker, but as the show "Archer" told us, they're only hookers when they're dead.)

As you can tell, "Mardi Gras Massacre" is nothing more than a knock-off of Herschel Gordon Lewis' "Blood Feast." If there is any real reason to watch this, it's because of Mezto as the villain. I can't tell if the actor is being really earnest with his performance, or if he realizes that this is crap, so he might as well have fun with the performance. Also, if you really treasure low, low budget regional horror from back in the day, then this might tickle your fancy. If you don't however, then I've got bad news for ya-this is not a very fun movie.

Throughout the whole thing, the other performances, cheap disco soundtrack, bad dancing and padding make the whole thing tedious to sit through. In fact, though there aren't any actual sex scenes, the whole thing has the atmosphere and feel of one of those 70's horror/porn hybrids, and we all know how boring porn can be without the sex. Sure, there's gore, but the kills and sacrifice scenes are all repetitive and boring, and by the time the second woman is offed, you'll start to get bored. Add an abrupt conclusion, a very uninteresting romance sub-plot and a final shot that nearly caused me to do a spit take, and you've got a movie that's more interesting on paper than it is on screen.

Apart from Mezto and the fact that lovers of all things 70's no-budget schlock will eat this up, there isn't really anything that makes this worth watching. Those that do love the movie should be happy to know that Code Red DVD should be releasing it this year, but for me, this was the most dull Mardi Gras Festival ever.

Rating: 2.5/10

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