Sunday, September 23, 2012

Girls Gone Dead (2012)

With a movie like "Girls Gone Dead", you can judge a book by it's cover:

This is a movie that is exactly what it looks like: a boobs and no brains slasher movie. Too bad it's not a good one.

The plot (ha, plot!) is about six gal pals who used to be cheerleaders who have rented property. Sure, people where killed at a shooting of "Crazy Girls Unlimited", but they don't know that, so party time! Cue tons of female nudity, cameos and a hooded killer with a medieval weapon killing people. Mostly female nudity though.

If I were in my teens, I'd probably give this more flack. When your a teen, seeing boobs in a movie is like a gift from the gods of puberty. I'm not a teen though, so most of this didn't do it for me. Sure, the kills are gory, but there's no suspense or meaning to any of it, thus limiting the impact. Jerry Lawler (who recently had a heart attack on Raw) is decent and seems to be having a lot of fun, but no one here (the cast includes Ron Jeremy, Sal the Stockbrocker and Beetlejuice from "The Howard Stern Show", and Linnea Quigley) is given much to do. Yeah there's plenty of female nudity, but it doesn't take long for all of it to start to blur together.

Granted, I will admit that I'm probably not the intended audience for this. This feels like a tribute to 80's slashers (Am I the only one whose getting sick of these?) as done by Howard Stern fans. I'm not a Howard Stern fan, so who knows, maybe it's my fault. I just found this to be tedious to be honest. Most of the humor is of the "descriptions of female anatomy and farts" category, and none of it is funny. I started to get bored about halfway through, as it all becomes predictable and tiresome. Just because you have a camera and a lot of girls willing to get topless doesn't mean you've made a worthwhile viewing experience.

As I said, I'm not the target audience for this. Said audience will probably enjoy this more than I did. Me? I'd like a movie that has more on it's mind than girls taking off their tops.

Rating: 2/10

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