Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)

At this point, the best way to describe the "Wrong Turn" franchise would be "redundant." It feels almost pointless to watch, review and most of all critique them. Ever since the studio decided that it would make for a fine straight-to-video franchise, they've been fodder for indiscriminate gore hounds and nothing more. Okay, the first DTV sequel is the best in the series IMO, but it's been a downhill slide ever since. Our latest installment...well, it's a "Wrong Turn" movie, meaning it's over the top splatter and little else.

Granted, the movie does at the very least try to be a little different. Here, we are introduced to a serial killer named Maynard (the one and only Doug Bradley) who is also related to Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye. Meanwhile a group of kids headed to West Virginia's Mountain Man Festival (seriously, if these movies were more popular, the tourism industry in that state would be fucked) end up running into Maynard, and in the process briefly go to jail with him-that is, until the police find out who Maynard is and let most of the others go. Unfortunately for everyone else, our jolly pack of inbred killers are out to break him out. Oh, and cause some havoc along the way.

I will say this for the movie: Doug Bradley is a lot of fun here. He's clearly having the time of his life playing this guy, and chews scenery in the best possible way. Also, if you are here for gore, then this movie more than satisfies, as the deaths are all creative and bloody as hell. Plus, unlike the last two sequels, this one actually has a sense of humor that is mostly welcome. It's obvious that writer/director Declan O'Brien (directing his third entry in this series-he's like the Darren Lynn Bousman of of this franchise) knows that the audience isn't there to be scared and that this is now ultimately his baby, so he at least tries to have a little fun.

Alas, it's still not a very good movie. For one thing, Bradley is the only actor whose worth a damn here. Everyone else is pretty wooden, and nobody here is the least bit interesting. It's probably just me, but the over-the-top nature of these movies is starting to get tiresome too. I know, that's the audience for this, but for me, the constant series of ridiculous murders (including death by combine harvester) is something that's starting to lose it's luster. You can only go "look at how we're going to creatively kill this guy!" so much until it gets boring. Worst of all is the ending, which sets up a sequel. Granted, it's obvious that they're going to make another one, but the conclusion is lacking anything resembling fun. It all fells perfunctory, not to mention cynical.

Speaking of which, that's the other way to describe this-cynical. Everything about this feels like a product meant to make more cash from whoever it is keeps bothering with the series. There's nothing here that feels genuine. It's simply a cheap cash grab that doesn't show any real interest in entertaining the viewer. It just wants their money.

Will I watch the next "Wrong Turn" movie? Most likely. Will I like it? Probably not. I'm sure they'll finally end this series with "Three Finger Needs a Kidney", but at this point, I'm just wondering why I continue to bother.

Rating: 4/10

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