Thursday, November 29, 2012

Strippers vs. Werewolves (2012)

I'm kinda amazed that there's now a "Strippers vs. Whatever monster the director felt like using" genre nowadays. I doubt Jay Lee had any idea that his film "Zombie Strippers" would have some sort of influence, but lo and behold, this is what we get. Unfortunately, in this case we get something like "Strippers vs. Zombies", which is from the same guys who gave you "Dead Cert."

Opening with a building blowing up and a shitty cover of "Hungry Like the Wolf", our film soon flashes towards the present, where a stripper named Justice (Adele Silva) kills a man via stabbing him in the eye with a silver pen. I think it should be mentioned that said man was turning into a werewolf. This doesn't sit well with a gang of werewolves lead by  Ferris (Billy Murray-no, not that one), who decide to head to The Silvadollaz club, but not for a lap dance. Let the battle begin!

Well, it takes a while-actually, way too long-for the final showdown to commence. What we get instead is a wave of tedium, bad acting (which shocks me considering several of the actors here aren't exactly amateurs or terrible actors), wasted opportunities (Robert Englund shows up for a rather pointless cameo, and seems like he doesn't want to be there), bad Electro Pop, and really cheap looking werewolves. Also, for a movie called "Strippers vs. Werewolves", you'd expect more in the gore and nudity department. Sure, there's full frontal female nudity and blood, but it seems to be afraid to embrace it's sleazy premise.

A scene from the local "Sideburns for Monsters" convention

If anything, "Strippers vs. Werewolves" is mostly guilty of the fact that it commits the biggest sin any movie could commit-it doesn't even try. It all feels muted, as if those who made it wanted to make a trashy B-Movie, but simply went with an attention grabbing title and forgot everything else. As it stands, none of the humor is particularly funny, the writing is lazy, the direction is piss poor, and the whole enterprise ends up feeling redundant. Sure, you've got strippers and werewolves, but the filmmakers leave you nothing else.

The most telling bit of dialogue (actually, the only memorable bit of dialogue) comes nearing the end, when someone leaves a theater saying "It's not great art, but it's great trash." Well, as a guy whose seen a lot of great trash, I can safely say that this movie is not great trash. It's just boring trash.

Rating: 0/10

As for why I haven't done many reviews this month: I've been pretty busy, and I decided to take a break after October. Don't worry though, as you'll get more in December, as well as the annual best sleepers and worst movies lists.

1 comment:

  1. I've just installed iStripper, and now I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers stripping on my taskbar.