Thursday, December 20, 2012

2012-The Rest

Just as it says-the rest. Disappointments, forgettable films, guilty pleasures and future bad movie classics.


Absentia-A lot of people went nuts for this supernatural tale, but I found it to be a letdown. Sure, the acting is solid, but I found it to be kinda dull and the ending to be something of a bad decision. Also, the repetitive score got on my nerves

Expendables 2-I will admit that I liked this a little more than the last one, but the constant switches from serious action movie to tongue-in-cheek action movie is annoying. Also, Chuck Norris jokes in 2012?

Most Forgettable

Underworld: Awakening-It's...yet another "Underworld" movie. Sure, there's some fun action scenes, and it does have the distinction of being the goriest of the films, but at the end of the day, it all feels about as formulaic as they come.

Inkubus-Produced by and starring Joey Fatone, this sucker has a great performance by Robert Englund and little else. The cheap, Youtube video level production doesn't help.

Night Wolf-Lionsgate strikes again by saying Tom Felton stars in this unremarkable and mostly bad werewolf film, when in fact he only has a small supporting role. I don't remember anything else about it.

Guiltiest Pleasures

Rise of the Animals-Low on cash and acting talent, this manages to be a marginally charming little film that's more fun than most SyFy channel movies.

Zombie A-Hole-By all accounts, I should hate this micro-budget exploitation homage from Dustin Mills (whose "Puppet Monster Massacre" kinda annoyed me), but this shockingly imaginative movie has tons of gore, nudity, a bit of humor and insane amounts of dedication and enthusiasm to make for a shockingly fun time that puts most micro-budget zombie movies to shame.

Resident Evil-Retribution-If you were to ask me what this movie is about, my answer would honestly be "I have no idea." All I know is that explosions happen, slow motion is abused, zombies and monsters run amok and the most basic tenants logic, characterization and plot are thrown out the window for sheer mindless spectacle. However, at the very least, this is never boring and actually kinda fun in a "high fat buttery popcorn" way.

Future Bad Movie Classic

Nazi's at the Center of the Earth-For years, the Asylum has made bad movies. Here though, they have gone completely out of their mind, at first being shockingly serious and sombre for a movie from this studio. Then Hitler's head comes alive and is attached to a robot, and it goes fucking insane. Bad, but must be seen to be believed.

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