Friday, March 8, 2013

Oasis of the Zombies (1981)

There comes a point in every horror fan's life when they find a director they not only don't like, but also thinks they are a largely talentless hack. For me, you can add Jess Franco in that list. After directing some shockingly good genre films in the 60's, he went on to make a series of trashy, erotic exploitation movies in the 70's that in spite of the presence of the gorgeous Lina Romay, managed to make female nudity boring. So, what happens when you take away the sleaze elements? You get the French-Spanish Euricine production "Oasis of the Zombies", which is one of the most boring zombie movies ever made and proof that Franco is nothing more than a Hack-Fraud-Con Man.

The film opens the way you'd expect a Franco movie to open-with two lesbians in short shorts holding hands. For the raincoat crown (and the usual Franco watchers), you'd think that things are about to get steamy. Nope, doesn't happen. Anyways, a group of people we don't care about go searching for a treasure that apparently belonged to the Nazis that just happens to be in an African desert. Unfortunately for them, the treasure is guarded by some undead zombies.

That's about it as far as plot is concerned. The rest of it is, as I said, boring. The movie lacks the sleaze Franco fans come to expect, with only a few instances of nudity that feel strangely chaste. The gore is unspectacular, and the zombie make-up is inconstant. The score in particular is grating, as it's all just the same piano and organ tune played in a constant loop. The direction is bad even for Franco standards-there are way too many shots of inanimate objects on other useless things that serve no purpose whatsoever.

Hey, you seen my other eye?

I don't want to waste anymore time, but yeah, this movie sucks. Even Franco fans will probably find this to be a waste of time, and are better off watching his 60's-70's material.

Rating: 0/10

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